Darn! A Good Line Ruined!

Subtitle: Things for which we should be deeply grateful, because they’re meant to keep us humble.

Well, the best laid plans of mice and men and all that!

In my mind, I had a good line. A Mark Steyn-esque-Ann Coulter-esque-Jonah Goldberg-esque bon mot, and I determined to place it in a post… so I did. The line has one key word that makes the entire line.

It’s not an original, but when one of the above three great writers deploys it, you will laugh, believe me! It’s a line that’s meant to cast aspersions on an individual, as well as on the group to which he belongs.  And, well-delivered, it is funny!

For that one key word, I typed the wrong word. I used the exact opposite word from the one I should have typed… which makes the line do almost the opposite of its intent: It makes the line slam the individual, while not slamming the group… leaving readers, presumably, scratching their heads.

Here’s the line, as it’s intended to read (here): “How sad that the departure of an IQ-deprived fumble-mouthed half-wit like Joe Biden actually lowered the average IQ in the ovine herd of Democrat Presidential candidates!”

Here’s what I wrote in the originally published edition: “How sad that the departure of an IQ-deprived fumble-mouthed half-wit like Joe Biden actually raised the average IQ in the ovine herd of Democrat Presidential candidates!”

Ummmm… Whhhuuuuuh?

  • The first, correct line does what I’d intended to do: it says that Biden’s an idiot, but he’s the least stupid of the gaggle of idiots running for the Presidency as Democrats.
  • Furthermore, it states, sotto voce, that the Democrats have had an idiot as their front runner for some time now.
  • It then goes on to imply that after Biden’s impending departure, the next front runner will be even more of an idiot… as she surely will be.

It’s a good line! Jam-packed with meaning on various different levels! Annnnnnd… it’s a line that makes the reader dope all that out for himself! At the end of which he laughs on all those different levels. And I typed “raised” instead of “lowered.”

All while I was castigating someone for being an idiot!!! See what I mean about the Subtitle?

The second line, does… nothing.

It says that Biden’s an idiot, and the Democrats are getting rid of him from the ranks of those running for the presidency… as any intelligent party ought to do with its idiots.(1)

Furthermore, to add insult to injury, I liked the line — with the intended meaning — so much that I made it the slug for the entire essay! So it was the very first thing that a reader would read before taking in the rest of the piece! Then he’d read it again in the essay!


I mucked it up royal! And, all it would have taken was a mere moment’s thought to fix it before I published the essay!

The correction is in place (again, here); my face remains an  arresting shade of red, as I scrape the egg off it, while simultaneously removing an unseemly mixture of humble pie, crow and size-14 Nike from my mouth… and my humility has received a well-deserved booster shot.

— xPraetorius


(1) The Democrat Party never gets rid of its idiots. Like buboes, they sit and sit and sit, growing, festering, filling with political putrefaction, getting more and more inflated. Electoral humiliations never bother these carbuncles. The Democrat party requires a good electoral lancing, and the captive groups composing their “base” never deliver it. Hence you have what you have today in the Democrat Party: Pathetic, old ’60’s hippie throwbacks, their glory days 40 years in the past, leading dynamic, energetic, brainless, uneducated, mediagenic half-wits; the prissy oldsters trying less and less successfully to keep the spoiled, snot-nosed brats from running amok in the classroom.

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