A follower of this blog (h/t FourSquare) read this post in our NPR Watch series and asked me to post one of my comment posts as its own independent essay. Our follower found our riposte to a comment hilarious, and was kind enough to highlight the passages that made him guffaw. I did so as well below, using red font.
But, first, just a bit of context.
In the above-linked post, we pointed out that the San Bernardino, California shooters were terrorists, while then-President Barack Obama’s administration was struggling desperately for something to call their act.
In the ensuing comments, a guy with whom I spar occasionally — one “Arkenaten” — said the usual pap about gun control. Never mind that the shooters were loaded to the gills with pipe bombs and other explosives at their home.
So, in the comments (here) was a back-and-forth about gun control, during which I posted this tidbit, that our follower enjoyed so much:
So, Ark’s (Editor’s note: my nickname for Arkenaten) solution, when the bad guys are arming themselves to the teeth (his words), is to disarm the good guys. Smaaaaaaaaart! The bad guys’ll never know what to do faced with that dazzling stratagem!
Oops. They already do. That’s why shootings take place in so-called “gun-free” zones! Darn! But, I’m sure those terrorists will be fooled by your brilliant strategy of disarming the targets the next time, Ark! I’m sure they’ll look around and say to themselves, “Oh, look! A gun-free zone! We’d better get out of here with our guns so that we don’t get into trouble! Let’s go find a place to shoot up where they can shoot us right back!”
Welllll… Let’s see… quick thought exercise. A muslim terrorist baboon goes up to Ark and threatens him and his family with a gun. In the course of screaming “Allahu Akbar” the none-too-bright goon drops his firearm and it slides over to Ark. What, pray tell, does Ark do with that firearm?
Well, before the none-too-bright goon dropped his weapon, Ark and his family were officially ready to be classified as: “goners.” However, when the goon drops the weapon, Ark has a second chance. How will he respond to that second chance, one wonders.
The mind is tempted to move to the comical. There is, in the imagination, a picture of Ark, standing astride his beloved, unshakable principles, and responding, “Here you go, Mr. Gibbering Baboon, Sir… I would not dare touch one of these filthy things! Take it now, and get thee hence!” Grateful and chastened, the gibbering baboon muslim terrorist leaves and sets up a non-profit day care center where he nurtures young children in their journey to adulthood.
Then, the mind realizes that Ark would just grab the gun and, tremulously to be sure, shoot the gibbering baboon.
Ark doesn’t disagree that people should have guns when they’re truly needed. He and I disagree only on when they’re truly needed. I think it should be before it’s too late; Ark believes it should be after; hoping, I guess, that the one wielding the gun is a none-too-bright gibbering baboon muslim terrorist who just might drop his gun. Ark thinks I’m stupid, and silly, and nonsensical for my beliefs. I think Ark’s a patsy.
In the end though, when the gibbering muslim terrorist baboon comes a-knockin’, my family and I are still alive, while Ark …
I hope it never comes to that, as ISIS has vowed it will. Too many have found out already, though, that ISIS has the means, the troops, the will and the psychosis to make it all happen. And they’re in your country and mine.
Okay, in reading that again after several years, I have to admit: it’s kinda funny. But there’s also something else in there. I wonder whether you noticed it. Here it is: the word “ISIS.”
How many times have you seen that word in the news lately? How about in the past two years? I know! Me neither!
I wonder what’s been different in the last two years from the previous, say, eight years.
Maybe the difference is that in the previous eight years, our President was Patsy Obama©, while in the last two year the Chief Exec has been Not-Patsy Trump.
When Trump entered the Oval Office, he promised (as we’d been recommending for a very long time, I might add) to pound the poop out of ISIS.
Well, I do kind of remember some news stories about some bombings and things, and a bunch of cities were liberated from the goons’ control, and then the poopless ISIS goons… just kind of disappeared from the news.
I wonder what happened.
I remain not a fan of Donald Trump, but I sure do like a lot of his policies (and dislike some others) and I sure am glad that withered, senile, reactionary, irrelevant, old harpy, Hillary Clinton, is not Madame President!