A ‘MeToo’ Pause for Thought


We’ve written some things in these pages about the “MeToo” thing. This is the movement that sprang up when Harvey Weinstein was caught being the pervert that most everyone who ever dealt with him knew very well that he was. Here’s one thing we wrote. Here are some more.

Okay. Weinstein’s a pervert, and he should have been called on it decades ago. Why wasn’t he? Easy. Because while he was busy not being called on it, he was also busy making his “victims” into multi-gazillionaires.

Apparently, very few of the women “victims” turned him down when he offered his “deal” — a couple of hours of perversion with Harvey, in exchange for the very real possibility of serious fame and fortune in the very near future. As Germaine Greer said, that looks a lot like… “consent.” (we discussed that here)

Anyway, back to the “MeToo” movement. “MeToo” is supposed to mean that the woman saying it, has also had some kind of harassment, assault, or other indignity imposed on her by some man or men.

The entire thing has served to foster a generalized state of mind that men, all men, are sexual abusers, or potential abusers. Furthermore, the conventional wisdom is that only men are guilty of sexual misconduct, either professionally or personally. I’ve heard — from men — of how we men need to be “educated” as to how to treat women properly and such.

Okay. Maybe. Or, we could just take a step back and admit that the much-maligned “1950’s morality” that everyone supposedly hates — with all its shaming and stigmas — worked pretty well.

Furthermore, pretending that only men need to be educated is patently ridiculous. The following things have happened to me in my life. I’m telling of these events as the current moment defines them. These definitions are all from the perspective of women, but they all happened to me:

 

“Event”

Number of Times It’s Happened to Me

Sexual Harassment in a Personal Setting 1,000+
Sexual Harassment in a Professional Setting 300+
Assault in a Personal Setting (Means: in a bar, or at a party, or the like, grabbing of derrière, grabbing of genitals, unsolicited massages, or other rubbing.) 200+
Assault in a Professional Setting. (Same definition as the one directly above.) 100+
Rape 6
Loss of Professional Opportunity Because I’m a Man 12
Domestic Violence (Means: an incident in which either my then wife, or a girlfriend, or a woman, hit, kicked, scratched, slapped, or threw some projectile at me.) 100+
Objectification in a Professional Setting (Means: discussing my physical attributes with other women in a professional setting) 50
Objectification in a Personal Setting (Means: discussing my physical attributes with other women in a personal setting) 100
Serious Embarrassment, when I Gently Rejected a Female Colleague Making a Pass at Me in a Professional Setting Along With Near Loss of Job! 3 (I told of one such incident in these pages.)
Serious Embarrassment, when I Gently Rejected a Female Colleague Making a Pass at Me in a Professional Setting A dozen or so
Serious Embarrassment, when I Gently Rejected a Female Colleague Making a Pass at Me in a Personal Setting Several dozen

I understand that my particular circumstances are unusual, because I used to be a male “underwear model” in Paris, in the 1980’s. I was a tall, 6′ 4″ tall, strikingly handsome, blonde, athletic, Norwegian-looking, model. I’m still in some on-line catalogs around the fashion world. No, I’m not modest about it. I was a tall, handsome dude in very good physical shape.

I had a colleague, who became my friend. I’ll call him Bob (not his real name). We used to call “Bob” “George,” because he looked like a young George Clooney, only more handsome. I spoke with him about all this sexual harassment stuff, and he just laughed. Like me, he’d experienced dozens, hundreds, of incidents of “sexual harassment” — as the definition “out there” is — in his personal and professional life. He, too, had been assaulted dozens of times — again as “assault” is defined in the American landscape today.

All my friends who are normal- to good-looking have experienced the same things that I’ve described above. Not as much as I have, because of my unusual circumstances, but they’ve all experienced what, if a man had done it to a woman, and not the other way around, he’d have been fired. 

Truth to tell, if everyone had to adhere to the same rules, then every female boss I’ve ever worked for — except one — would have been fired. Probably every female colleague I’ve ever worked with would have been fired.

And, yes, I’ve done things that could have been misinterpreted as “sexual harassment,” and that would have got me fired. Though, that hasn’t happened in a long time, because I saw this particular writing on the wall a long time ago.

Anyway, this “MeToo” stuff is bad, but it’s way, way, way out of balance too. If the rules are going to be as puritanical as the “MeToo” movement seems to think they should be, then they need to be applied equally… and there needs to be a new dress code in professional settings (as we discussed here (1))

Furthermore, if we, as a country, think that any setting in which we place men and women in close quarters for an extended period of the day, will be devoid of sexual attraction between the sexes, and the hijinks that result from that attraction, then we’re as stupid as rocks Or worse: we’re unserious, and we’re just playing a silly little game. But we’re doing it with real lives.

We’d better think long and hard before we do anything drastic, because it’s a sure thing that there’s nothing whatsoever that we can do — at least in the near term — that’s going to change either human nature, or natural biological urges and impulses, or the natural attraction between men and women.

— xPraetorius

Notes:


(1) Here’s a passage from that post:

More to the point, how is public policy supposed to treat women? Like strong, independent, capable people in full? Or like the above-mentioned wilting flowers?

As a country, we’ve been trying to have it both ways for decades, and it doesn’t work. We’ve published several posts in these pages describing a situation that shows all this quite well. It’s “dress code.” In almost all corporations, “business casual” prevails as the dress code. For men, that’s easy: they still expose for all to see: wrists, and the occasional forearm, and their neck and head. That’s it. However, I can tell you from long personal experience that, on colleagues, I’ve personally seen hundreds of arms, shoulders, legs, cleavage, full breasts, panties and the occasional nipple on women who have for decades worn a lot less to work than their male colleagues.

Look I don’t mind that kind of thing, but if women are going to expose things that men find physically attractive, they really ought to forfeit the right to pretend that they don’t want men to look. That shouldn’t be all that controversial.

You can’t on the one hand suggest that there ought to be rules, regulations, laws and policies that prohibit any sexual fantasizing on the part of colleagues, and then dress to excite sexual fantasies. Again, this shouldn’t be all that controversial. And it should be something we can all talk about.

But we can’t.

4 thoughts on “A ‘MeToo’ Pause for Thought

  1. As with everything, the #MeToo movement is being completely coopted by the Left and it will for sure be used in upcoming campaigns against Republicans. I agree with the vernal concept in that abuse should be spoken out against (whether it happened to a woman or man) but #MeToo is turning in to a witch hunt that belittles whatever good intentions it stared with.

    1. So true, Tricia!

      As you’ve probably figured, I’m all about automatically treating everyone in the workplace, and in all personal settings, with respect, kindness, politeness. Man, woman or child.

      I reiterate that every year I see a whole lot of female flesh that almost all men find appealing, while men reveal: just about nothing — hands, wrists, neck and head.

      Between you and me, I’m a normal, red-blooded male, and I don’t mind the show, but a show it is. And if someone is putting on a show, she probably ought not to complain when people take it in.

      Now, if someone is putting on a show — as my friend Roberta here does — and some guy acts on the inappropriate impulses he might be feeling, that’s a bad thing, and it needs not to happen at all.

      However, it’s what makes me believe that women probably ought to adhere to a more modest dress code in work. Boys will be boys, and girls will be girls, and if someone — anyone doesn’t want any attention paid to him or her due to anything unrelated to work, then he or she should dress according to that wish. Again, this should not be controversial.

      Maybe it makes sense to suggest that women ought to adhere voluntarily to a dress code that is simply not going to tempt any guys — or gals, let’s face it — to inappropriate behavior.

      Men are already doing their part. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve seen a man at work displaying anything that might be seen as even remotely suggestive, or inappropriate, and those times it was generally that a top shirt button had come off, or a zipper had been inadvertently… unzipped. In other words: it was an accident. 🙂 (One such rogue zipper incident involved, ummm… errrr… me. And yes, it was deeply embarrassing. 🙂 )

      This is not I hasten to add, “blaming the victim.” This is merely suggesting that all people observe commonsense rules of behavior in circumstances where personal relationships are supposed to be outside of the scope of normal activities.

      Best,

      — x

      1. Ha ha, I had a blouse “incident” once during a job interview where a couple of buttons popped off. Pretty embarrassing and I didn’t even get the job! 😉

        I agree women should practice more modesty in dressing. Where I really think things go off the rails and is much more dangerous is this emphasis by feminists that women should be able to do anything at any time with anyone and not be held responsible for their actions.

        If a college student chooses to get loaded at a frat party and passes out drunk in one of the bedrooms she shouldn’t be surprised if this invites bad behavior by someone else. A man that chooses to take advantage of this is still wrong, wrong, wrong but a woman needs to value herself enough not to willingly get in to such entirely preventable situations in the first place. That is true empowerment!

        1. So well said, Tricia! It’s a question of common sense!

          And of not pretending that in relations between the sexes, men aren’t still mostly the “aggressors,” ie the ones asking for the date, asking for marriage, and, of course, generally making the first move as it pertains to physical intimacy.

          Plus… men are, on average, a third larger than women! We need, as people, to be reality-based. We understand, for example, that a tiny box jellyfish can kill us in excruciating fashion, so even though we’re a lot bigger, we give the creature plenty of room.

          Your last paragraph is right on the nose. I’d add to it what I wrote in another post, which is again what my daughter told me. My daughter is a tall, beautiful young woman, in great physical shape. If you were to look at my daughter, you’d say, as many have, “America’s next top model!” She’s that pretty.

          She’s also a sweet person, and very, very approachable. She has that gift that people just want to tell her things, and to be with her.

          She’s also told me that she’s never, not even once, been sexually harassed, either in the workplace (she’s a second Lieutenant in the Army; she works in retail, AND she works at a manufacturing company), in school (graduated from UConn last year), or in any personal situation. Not once.

          I asked her why. She shrugged her shoulders and said, quote: “I guess I just don’t give off that vibe.”

          Mind you, plenty of young men have told me that they were interested in dating my daughter, and I’ve given them my blessing to ask her out. Numerous young men have asked her out, and numerous young men have communicated to her their interest in her. She’s friendly and polite and respectful with all of them, and if she’s available she goes on dates with them. This is not a young woman lacking for attention from young men.

          And never once has she been “sexually harassed.” Her experience stands in sharp contrast with what we’re hearing form the “MeToo” movement, who say that all women are sexually harassed at some point in their lives.

          And, frankly, I’d have believed that — given my own experience as a dude!

          So, bottom line, I don’t know what to think, except to conclude that the bottom line of the “MeToo” movement is correct: No man should ever sexually harass a woman, nor should any man ever assault a woman. Ever.

          However, i’m figuring that the rest of it the MeToo stuff, is a bunch of propaganda intended to provide cover for leftist rules, regulations and laws.

          With that said, I’d echo your last paragraph, word for word, without changing a thing.

          Best,

          — x

Please Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s