The REAL Battle of the Sexes!

Right here.

The title of Charles C.W. Cooke’s column is: “ThinkProgress Encounters Economic Reality, Becomes Confused and Upset

Yep. It’s a “Battle of the Sexes” piece.

If the headline weren’t funny enough, the rest of the piece is a great read, with a lot of “I-toldja-so“-type chuckling from our side.

Here’s a choice excerpt:

(Here Cooke quotes the left-wing organization, “ThinkProgress) The U.S. women’s soccer team defeated Japan on Sunday to win the World Cup(1). For their dominant performance, the team will collect $2 million from FIFA, the international body that runs the tournament.

The championship prize for women pales in comparison to the $8 million in prize money awarded to men’s teams who lose in the first round. Every men’s team was awarded $1.5 million just for participating.

Oooohhh…can’t have that now, can we?!? That’s just wrong!

But, then we learn this:

“The World Cup pays for all the 20 World Cups FIFA organizes, the under-17, under-20 men and women, club football, beach soccer all is financed by the men’s World Cup [Emphasis added]  which brings directly $4.5 billion to FIFA.”

We learn further that:

…the Women’s World Cup of 2011 “brought in just $5.8 million, while the men’s cup in 2014 netted $1.4 billion.” Advertisers, the Times [Editor’s Note: The New York Times] confirms, will pay 80 times as much to cover the men’s competition as the women’s.


Wait a sec. The men brought in a tad more than 240 times what the women brought in to pay for all this stuff? Holy Mackerel! The women need to start pulling their weight! Furthermore, advertisers will pay through their teeth to sponsor the men? Looks like the girls are freakin’ mooching off the boys!

Look, I love girls’ and women’s sports as much as anyone. I really heart that they have all the opportunities they do — though the crimes committed in the name of Title IX in American colleges are obscene — but the girls just need to shut up about the money thing.

Correction: the left-wing nutballs who pretend to speak on behalf of women athletes need to shut up.

Some items:

  • The men’s National Basketball Association funds the women’s NBA, which loses money. That’s probably the reason you never hear WNBA players complaining about how much they are paid compared to the dudes.
  • Men’s tennis allows women’s tennis even to happen, and there is not one single woman in professional tennis — including Serena Williams, Billie Jean King, Chris Evert, Martina Navratilova,  Margaret Court, Yvonne Goolagong — who pretends that the woman can play with the men. That’s why the only sex discrimination in tennis is in women’s tennis. That’s right. If you can really play, as a woman, there is nothing  — no rule, no policy, no unwritten protocol —  preventing you from playing on the men’s tennis tour. Except, that is, your ability.
  • Men’s golf allows the LPGA (Ladies Professional Golf Association) to exist. Same thing as with tennis: the only sex discrimination is on the women’s tour, where men are not allowed to play. As with tennis, there is not one single woman in professional golf — including Annika Sorenstam, Lorena Ochoa, Inbee Park, Stacy Lewis, Yani Tseng, Karrie Webb. Mickey Wright — who pretends that the women  can play with the men. And, to repeat again: That’s why the only sex discrimination in golf is in women’s golf . That’s right. If you can really play, as a woman, there is nothing  — no rule, no policy, no unwritten protocol —  preventing you from playing on the men’s golf  tour. Except, that is, your ability. Some have tried. None have ever even made the cut. Did you ever notice why you don’t hear announcers at women’s golf tournaments telling how far so-and-so drove the ball? It’s because they drive the ball about as far as I do on a normal day: about 250 – 275 yards. Not bad, but I’m nothing more than an average hacker — a 6’4″ 300lb, 20-handicap hacker, who’s 58-years old.
  • There’s no real women’s football (American-style, that is), but do we really have to discuss that?
  • There’s no real women’s baseball. Same thing as American football, above.

People say of basketball, for example, “Well, you see, the women’s game is a different game. It’s more intellectual, and more about playmaking and more about teamwork, and less about individual showmanship, and less about flashiness.”

Okay, but here’s a truth. In any game of basketball between two “comparable-level” teams, the men will always win. Period. Two high school teams? The boys win? Two college teams? The boys win? The NBA vs. the WNBA? Absent some major handicaps imposed on the men, the men win. At some point sports are about scoring and winning. The men’s astonishing strength, agility , speed and quickness (two different things) make what they do incredible, for anyone who truly watches the sports. If you don’t like the spectacle of astonishing athletes doing astonishing things, then you won’t like men’s sports, and you will like the women’s games. But, they’re not better.

Make the basketball court, the tennis court, the golf course configuration more “women-friendly” … the boys still win. Probably by more, because the only way to do all that is to make it all smaller. In all cases but a few, the guys win by an even wider wide margin.

How about tennis? Remember when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in “The Battle of the Sexes?” I do. I forget what all Riggs’ handicaps were, but I remember some of them. Riggs had to defend the doubles court; he got only one serve while she got two, and several other things. The “handicaps” were an admission that the 30-ish King was never going to beat the 55-year old Riggs straight up. Having more handicaps even than that, he had already beaten Margaret Court. I think he had to play with two chairs on his court or something like that. He still beat Court handily.

Again, I really heart women’s sports, and for all the right reasons. Sports can be great for the character, for the physique, for health and mental agility, and ability … for human betterment. There’s no reason under the sun for all that potential benefit to accrue only to men.

Here’s a suggestion, though, for you announcers of women’s sports: Stop lying to your audiences. Stop pretending that the women are spectacularly athletic, or strong, or fast. They’re not. They, are however, and to their credit, good. You need to capitalize on that.

When you watch both men’s and women’s sports, as I do, you recognize pretty quickly that the announcers of women’s sports are very carefully editing their announcing.

The men hit freakin’ bullets in tennis, while the women grunt as if they’re ripping their spleens out to hit lazy line drives that any male pro would smash back way out of the reach of his woman opponent. And on and on. This kind of thing is simply true in all sports that both women and men play.

Women’s sports announcers: Find an angle and exploit it. The LPGA has tried, but it was a poor attempt. They put various of the women stars on the screen talking about others of the women stars. But, it was all about just how great and competitive and just amazing they all were.

While, any real golf fan knows they’re not.

Find something else. Make it interactive, devise on-air, or in-crowd contests behind the scenes, do lotteries … anything. Just stop the pretense and go with what’s true and real. And, ready for this? If they’re beautiful, I suspect you could do something with that.

Natalie Gulbis and Laura Baugh — truly mediocre golfers each — have made a lot of money from the fact that they’re really attractive. In a way, by the way, that no man ever could. So, go with it. Do something with it. Do you want to play your sport or not? Because, after all the political correctness garbage dies down, the men might not be as willing to give away any more freebies.

Here’s another idea: invent female-centric sports. Who says the current crop of sports has to be all there is?

Make sports that favor the smaller and the more agile. Make sports that absolutely reward team play vs. individual fireworks. See if you can make them popular. Read this well: do what you have to do. I’m a red-blooded American male, and an ex-professional athlete. I would come for the gorgeousness, and stay for the sport. If, that is, you could make the sport interesting.(2)

Last thought: if you do this, then you just might get the sexual confusion out of sports. The “better” the women get at a given sport, the more mannish they become.(3) Let’s face it, no woman could be a professional football player without being a behemoth. Yet, no man — a sizable portion of the sports audience — is all that interested in watching a female behemoth.

However, and read this well, women are interested in watching really manly men. Male behemoths. Simple as that. You’ll never change that. However, you can exploit it.

Now, before you blast me, the women who watch men’s sports make no bones about the fact that they’re watching at least a little because of the bulging muscles, the tight uniforms and the bulging other things. Don’t deny it; you and I both know it’s true. No one can exploit that truth more than women.

It’s simply this: (1) the more opportunities that open up for women in sports, the more their spokesdroids whine and snivel about all the hardships,and all the discrimination women face in sports, while, really, they’re getting a mostly free ride, and (2) if women want to make more money, then they need to get more fans in to watch them.

I watch them already, so I don’t count.

— xPraetorius


(1) – It was a great match, and exciting! Any good, ol’, unabashed American patriot — like me 🙂 —  loved it!

(2) – That, by the way, is why “Lingerie Football” (which I have watched for a few minutes) is a failure. Women surely can wear lingerie, but they can’t play football. Now, if you were to make it so that there were real moments of sports tension, there isn’t a red-blooded American guy in the country who wouldn’t watch. However, the real truth is: There is plenty of gorgeousness in Lingerie Football, but very little sport.

(3) – The women’s tennis and golf tours are widely known to be awash in lesbianism. Not that that is a bad thing! 🙂 However, men — again, a sizable portion of the sports-viewing public — like to watch women. Furthermore, the men’s professional and amateur sports leagues are not awash in gays. There is a simple reason: Nearly all the attributes important to sports success are manly. Sorry, simple truth.


5 thoughts on “The REAL Battle of the Sexes!

  1. LOL! Good one. Dirty little secret, but women are actually in the majority, as in there are slightly more of us than there are men. So who is really not watching, sponsoring, funding women’s sports?

  2. Lol! So true! As I might have mentioned before, I really enjoy watching the women, and not only for the gorgeousness, but it’s still a second choice. I’m watching a sport because I want to watch a sport.

    The example I used was particularly galling for me, an amateur golfer. The announcers would say, something like, “Wow! He really crushed that ball! 320 yards on the fly and he got 30 more yards of roll!”

    Then, while watching women’s golf, the announcer would say something like, “Wow! she really crushed that ball! That is long!” …

    And that would be it. Nothing more.

    There I’d be on the edge of my seat: “Yeah? Yeah? How long?” They never tell. If you dig deep, you can find out that, as I mentioned, they hit the ball 250-275. The point: there’s nothing wrong with hitting the ball like that! However, you and I both know, I suspect, why they don’t announce it: because duffers like me can hit it as far.

    So, you can just hear the training that the announcers have to undergo before they become announcers of women’s golf: “Now, listen… Never, never ever mention how far the women drive the ball.” And they never do. That’s just silly.

    If people could simply act like grown-ups! That’s all… that’s all I ask. 🙂


    — x

  3. Don’t tell me women’s tennis matches deserve top billing at Centre Court when you can predict the outcome of 90% of matches, when the majority of matches are barely an hour long with no potential for a 4th or 5th set. There’s just no drama or interest in watching an over-the-hill but still dominant Serena Williams thump the No. 30 ranked player in the world 6-2, 6-3 for the umpteenth time.

    That’s because the top women tennis players are few, and the gap between them and the second tier is huge. Because women just aren’t as gifted athletically or as competitive. The men, however, have to be healthy and play well to not be upset by a man in the top 100.

  4. That’s all true,Joesph. I also don’t like the dishonesty in the announcing of women’s tennis matches.

    I remember a story Chris Evert told — probably only once — that was about how she used to prepare for a match by playing against her then husband, John Lloyd. She said she rarely ever got a point off him. At that time she was #1 in the world, and he hadn’t cracked the top 100. The gap in actual ability, as far as playing actual tennis is concerned, is immense. Same as in golf and the other sports.

    I also think it’s important to promote them because, as I mentioned above, sports can be a great contributor to all sorts of great things in life. It gets galling when I start to hear the whining about the differences in pay and all that.

    I still enjoy watching the woman, but as a second choice. And part of the experience is ruined for me, because I know the announcers are heavily editing their announcing.


    — x

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