Lurch for Secretary of State!

Secretary of State, John “Lurch” Kerry.

Living proof that you can have really creepy looks, the voice of a zombie, the IQ of a peach(1), and become Rich and Powerful and Important. John “Lurch” Kerry strikes a pensive pose in “negotiations”(2) with Iran.

Some see him differently. For example:


I don’t know. I still think Lurch is the real twin.

All this while Lurch Kerry’s other doppelganger, Denis “Lurch” McDonough (shown below) points to the hole in his head out of which his brain had rolled just moments before, prompting a Secret Service scramble to find it. In the subsequent mélee, the pellet became covered with dust and dirt, which, when it was re-inserted proved to be a significant upgrade.

Denis "Lurch" McDonough


Here, after all that fol-de-rol and just plain fun is the real thing:



Accept no paltry substitutes!

Now, this guy would make a real Secretary of State! “Hello, Iranians. You freakin’ rang?!?”


(1) My apologies to peaches, noble fruits all, everywhere.

(2) When the French did it, it was called “surrender.” Now, though, we call it “negotiations,” and it’s all the rage. Let’s not forget that Lurch speaks French, after a fashion, so probably has some considerable affection (full disclosure: as do I) for the cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

5 thoughts on “Lurch for Secretary of State!

    1. Whoa X, Joe Biden already has that title. However, I suppose there could be a ‘class’ of Human Rights Violations we could place both of them in…

  1. Good point, Mike! I had forgotten the buffoonish Vice-President. Darn!

    I think you’re right about the class. Does it have a genus and species as well? Hmmmm… there might be something here!


    — x

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