Warning: Rated PG! It’s Okay to “Objectify” Women… (Part II)

In a previous post, I said that “it’s okay for men to ‘objectify’ women once in a while.” In fact, I kind of implied further on that women not only expect it, but they’re upset if we guys don’t do it, because that implies that they are less than desirable.

I then went on to  explain how women’s sartorial proclivities in the workplace bear this out.

I didn’t mention the eternal dance that women and men do during their relationships. For example, every man knows this potential trap: “Does this dress make me look fat?” Instantly the guy is transported from the safe, familiar confines of his bedroom, to the end of a plank over the ocean, on a ship in heavy seas… and there’s a rapier in the small of his back in the form of an inquisitive look on his wife’s / girlfriend’s / significant other’s face.

Everyone guffaws at the poor schlub who gets that particular answer wrong. If you commit any of the following sins, you are doomed; at least for that evening:

  • Right answer, wrong level of enthusiasm
  • Wrong answer, any level of enthusiasm
  • Ambiguous answer, (aka: “the wrong answer”), any level of enthusiasm

It’s important to note that the “right answer” must be exquisitely tailored, sculpted, crafted and molded to have:

  • the perfect amount of sincerity; too much and “you’re faking it;” you’re trying too hard; you must not mean it. Too little sincerity — or what could be misinterpreted as too little sincerity — and you don’t mean it.
  • the right words; and you know how we men are just so darned good at choosing just the right words to make the women in our lives happy.
  • the perfect amount of enthusiasm… enthusiasm that couldn’t possibly be ambiguous in any way. See the first bullet.
  • the perfect mix  of respectful and lustful, look in our eyes… a look that allows the woman to say, “Oh, stop it! We have a party to go to!” with a little, knowing smile on her face.* Anything else will result in up to a week of domestic misery.

All this decision making and face composing, and voice preparedness has to happen, correctly, in the space of a quarter-second or so. Any longer delay than that, constitutes a “wrong answer,” and results in up to a week, of emotional misery.

In the midst of this topsy-turvy, surreal, mine-bestrewn, through-the-looking-glass lunar landscape that is the full suite of feminine expectations, we guys get it right a whole bunch of the time!

Men are freakin’ amazing!!!

— xPraetorius

    • Because she wants — has — to  believe that we men would do anything to get her into bed. We know that, so we act that way, whether we’d do anything to get her into bed or not. What women don’t know is that we act that way to placate them. The act, that is. We do what we can to convince them that we do want to get them into bed, because they seem to want us to have that desire — whether we have it or not. And frequently, so much more frequently than we’d ever admit, we just really don’t want that…

The mistake that women make is: they think that we are interested only in having sex with them. They manage to compartmentalize the fact that we watch sports on Sunday, and bowl on Monday, and golf on Tuesday, and play poker on Wednesday, and have “guys’ night out” on Thursday with the idea that all we ever want is to grab them and drag them into the bedroom.

We cultivate that myth, and the more they believe it, the better off we think we are.

Right or wrong.

— xPraetorius

2 thoughts on “Warning: Rated PG! It’s Okay to “Objectify” Women… (Part II)

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