I was on a political website, when I saw a promo for another website. The promo read: “8 Reasons to Date a White Man”
Being a white dude myself, I was intrigued to find out why women ought to date me. Here, by the way, is the link. Since it’s called “Madamenoire,” I figure that it’s from the perspective of a black woman.
First some background: I always get a chuckle out of women — and they are numerous! — who are ready to tell you aaaallllll about men because they know aaalll about men. What we think, how we think, when we think, why we think what we think when we think it…but women are supposed to be some great mystery to guys.
Well…half of all that is true: women are a great mystery to guys. But the reverse is true also. Almost every time a woman starts in on telling me all about men, she finishes by describing no man I ever met. and I’ve met and hung around and spoken in depth with a whole lot of men in my day!
So, as I said, I was intrigued to find out why this black woman thought it was not only a good idea to date white men, but that she had eight solid reasons to do so.
Her eight reasons turned out to be a serious indictment of black men! It further indicated — if this thinking is typical of black women “out there” — that black women are a lot more attuned to their self-interest than one might think, a lot more mercenary than one might think, and have a very jaded view of black men. I say all this only by way of observation. I’m not ready to draw any conclusions myself, because there’s no way I’m going to dissect a woman’s thinking. Her thoughts, maybe, but not her thinking.*
Here are her eight reasons:
First, her introduction:
I am married to a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa. To me, there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth. Notice I said physically. Outside of that, there are plenty of more financially, intellectually and emotionally stable options. It’s time to taste the unknown. There are just too many—too many bright and beautiful single Black women waiting for their Black prince charming, only to see more and more of them riding off with their porcelain-skinned beauties.
My question is what are you waiting for—a baby and no ring? Black men are obviously seeing a lot in others they like. As an open-minded woman, I can tell you from experience some things about white are right. In no particular order, here are the reasons you should be giving vanilla a chance.
1. THEY OPEN WIDE INSTEAD OF DOWN LOW
Gay White men tend to be more forthcoming about their status with family and friends. The down low phenomenon is less prevalent, which preserves the battery usage on your gaydar and relieves the stress of dissecting every male relationship. [Editor’s Note: I didn’t even have the slightest clue what this meant. I kind of got the impression after reading the whole piece that she might have wanted to show somewhere that she was still hip and cool after suggesting to black women that they date white men too.]
2. NOT LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM
Thanks to the absence of family, fathers and marriage in the Black community, a great number of our men have backward expectations when it comes to romantic relationships. A higher percentage of White men come from stronger family structures and more traditional gender roles, where the men seek to care for the women. [Editor’s Note: Ummmmm…Wow! Holy mackerel! She tosses off a reasonable summary of the deadliest pathology afflicting black people today, as if she were discussing her nails!]
3. ATTEND AND GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE
Black women are graduating from college and Black men continue to drop out. As a result, degrees become intimidating when dating Black men. In White culture, education is valued and expected. Thus, White men have no problem dating educated women with advanced degrees. It is impressive rather than intimidating. [Editor’s Note: wow, again!]
4. AT LEAST ATTEMPT TO MARRY BEFORE MAKING BABIES
For whatever reason, White men just don’t have children sprinkled all over the world like Black men. And, if they do, most of them were married to the mother at some point. Sure, they divorce but you can only divorce if you at least attempt a marriage.
5. THEY DON’T GLAMOURIZE IGNORANCE
They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out. The “thug life” is not something to be aspired. White men have a firmer grasp on what really defines manhood.
6. FINANCIAL PLANNING AND STABILITY
Black people, especially men, are always trying to shine—often spending more money than they have. White men tend to be more educated in the area of finance with a greater understanding of retirement planning, savings, investments, etc. This is mostly due to a higher level of exposure and teaching, but all that matters is they know and make better decisions than Black men when it comes to managing money.
7. HAVE THE ABILITY TO LOOK BEYOND YOUR PAST
Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? It’s because they don’t let the past hinder the present. Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with virgins, and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White men. They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.
8. DON’T TAKE EVERYTHING AS A CHALLENGE TO THEIR MASCULINITY
Intimidation and insecurity are two reasons for the rift between Black men and women. As a result of their insecurities and low self-esteem, Black men are intimidated by the strength of an educated and ambitious Black woman. Rather than seeing her as a strong teammate, she is a threat to their manhood. Thus, they feel the need to overcompensate. White men, on the other hand, are more secure. What Black men see as threatening is what makes a great wife and business partner to them. Do you agree?
Well, there they are…the eight reasons to date a white man…coming from a black woman.
To summarize, this black woman says of black men that they: “Open down low,” are looking for someone to take care of them, are uneducated and tend to stay uneducated, have babies sprinkled around the world, glamourize [this might be a British black woman] ignorance, don’t plan and are financially unstable, can’t look beyond your past, and take everything as a challenge to their masculinity.
Furthermore, she says, white men, in general, are not like any of that.
Of course, there’s a lot in there that is the usual “woman telling men all about themselves” thing…but my comment is that I have never heard thinking like this coming from any black person. Ever.
Why is this important? If there are black women thinking like this “out there,” then maybe black women might start pressuring black men to exhibit those desirable characteristics they perceive in white men. That might save black people. At the very least it would turn them all into Conservative Republicans, and that could save the world!
- A fine distinction, I understand, but a distinction nonetheless.